I wasn’t involved in anything extracurricular my freshman year of high school.
I was pretty shy and just didn’t feel any connection to my high school yet.
School was just a place I had to go.
But my sophomore year, I stepped out a little and enrolled in the journalism class.
The journalism students at our school were responsible for chunking out a bi-weekly school newspaper, as well as the class yearbook.
I was thinking of a career as a writer – still am, by the way – and creating a yearbook sounded like fun. So why not?
We learned about fonts, how to set and meet deadlines, page layout, and editing, editing, editing. (All skills I still use today; especially on this blog)
The entire journalism department at my high school was just a handful kids in one 55 minute, daily class, taught by Ms. Clark.
Ms. Clark was about 5’2″, with huge glasses that covered most of her experienced face……and a “chili-bowl” haircut that outlined the rest of it. It was hard to gage her exact age. At 15, everyone over 30 seems old, and she didn’t really bother hiding behind a lot of make-up. But I would say she was probably just a little north of 45. She only wore pants…and occasionally vests, channeling all the androgynous energy of a youthful Linda Hunt. She had been an actual working journalist for the associated press and traveled around the world with her best-friend/room-mate, Pam. Her travel stories, and there were many of them, usually ended with the 2 ladies trying to find an American baseball game on a transistor radio in whatever mudd-hutt they were stuck in at the time.
This was her first year of teaching at my high school. Ms. Clark was much more of a “doer” than a teacher. But fate had landed her in Flower Mound, Texas where she dusted off her teaching certificate and tried her hand at relating to 30-35 hormonal 15-year-olds 6 times a day.
Of the 15 kids in my class, I was the only one wanting to take pictures….so naturally,
Head Photographer I was so deemed.
Ms. Clark had a professional camera of her own that I could borrow. It was a big intimidating one – pretty similar, in fact, to the digital that one I have now. She showed me how the shutter speed works to let in more, or less, light; and how to use the tripod to keep it steady. (I’ve never taken a true photography class, so if you like the pictures that I take now, I can assure you they are the result of Ms. Clark’s wise instruction). I remember that while she stood over me, watching me load the film by myself, she placed a hand lightly on my shoulder. Not at all in a “Bad Touch” sort of way that teachers have to be fearful of nowadays…….It was comforting; I knew it meant that she was proud of me.
I specialized in taking pictures of just my friends, but Ms. Clark wasn’t having that. She told me that the school yearbook had a responsibility to represent every student, and not just the popular, Arian ones. (I had to get a dictionary later and look up the word Arian) From that day forward, I made a concentrated effort to take pictures of classmates that I didn’t know. (Especially the non-Arian ones) The camera forced me to introduce myself to them, I needed to know names for the captions after all, and that broke me just a little bit more out of my shyness comfort zone.
I think that may have been Ms. Clark’s plan all along.
Thumbing through that 30 year-old yearbook last week, I can still tell the candid pictures that I took.
Apparently, I have a style.
At our journalism Christmas party we played “Secret Santa”……..and as luck would have it, I drew Ms. Clark. I remember that I bought her a crystal-cut glass jewelry box and filled it with gummy bears; her favorite treat. But when one of the other girls in the class was left without a gift, Ms Clark gave her the gift from me, so that she wouldn’t feel left out. I was more than a little upset that Ms. Clark wouldn’t get to enjoy the gift that I specifically picked just for her. But I knew that she would get more joy knowing that someone didn’t have to go without one. That’s the kind of woman that she was.
One time, when I said that I would try to do something, she replied, “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” (My jaw hit the floor) She actually quoted Yoda to me. Can you believe that?
Ms Clark’s camera was always with me. It was my responsibility to document football games, pep rallies, and general school mayhem. But one day I was goofing off and the camera slipped off my desk, and with a crunch, it smacked the floor. Bits of glass rained out of the hole that used to be a lens when I picked it up and there was now a huge dent in the front.
I stopped breathing.
Normally, I would have denied anything about breaking it and just claimed that I found it that way, but I knew that Ms. Clark deserved more than that. With tears welling-up in the corners of my eyes, I took it to her, told her that I broke it, and offered to pay for it. (I’m not sure what the camera was worth, but I made about $40 a week working after school at a dry cleaners and that money just went towards Swatch watches and Molly Ringwald posters.)
But Ms. Clark wouldn’t have it. She looked me square in the eyes and said, “It’s just a camera.”
These were her bullet points on the situation:
- I hadn’t done it intentionally.
- The camera was merely a thing.
- Things can be replaced.
She hugged me and never mentioned it again.
Amazing woman,
Her logic knocked me on my ass.
She was the first teacher I’d had that knew there were great things in me; something no other teacher before her had ever done. (And honestly, only one other teacher since then)
I’m not really sure where Ms. Clark is now,
……….but there’s always a tiny bit of her that’s always with me.
THE CAVENDER DIARY 
I loved your tribute to your high school teacher who made you feel special and didn’t just sit behind a desk and drone on and on but helped you to be who you are today. I also came from a small town and small high school. I had wonderful teachers who gave of themselves and weren’t afraid to be involved with their students. Because of their influence, I went to college, majored in music, taught kindergarten and music and really came out of my shy self. Hurray for teachers who are gifted and pass it on to their students!
Having a 30-year-old yearbook myself, and being a former journalism student, and having taught English for 20+ years, I loved this post. I hope Ms. Clark gets to see it somehow.
30 years later, and I’m still thinking about her…….pretty big mark on my life. I’m who I am today because of a few impactful teachers along the way.
I love your decorating style and recipe posts but this was my absolute favorite post. Imagine a world where we all had a Ms. Clark in our life……
Awww thanks Colleen, I always wonder if anyone wants to read these kinds of things……..and obviously they do. This is a “diary” after all. So glad that you enjoyed it.
I loved that!
Simply beautiful. Teachers have more power than we sometimes realize and often their power is not fully realized until many years later. I hope that Ms. Clark understood the impression she had upon you.
This was wonderful.
I couldn’t just sit here, I did very little sleuthing. Suella B. Clark 6310 Mary Jamison St. San Antonio, TX 78238. 210-290-9277. Give her a call or drop her a note, she’d be proud.
Terry, you are the absolute sweetest. I will write her…..right away. Thank you!
Wonderful post! I think there are a lot of us wandering around have one teacher who was special – who taught us things that weren’t on the standard lesson plan, things that have stuck with us long after the memories of how to do long division have faded. I hope those special teachers somehow know what a great impact they had on all of us.
Wonderful post! I think there are a lot of us wandering around have one teacher who was special – who taught us things that weren’t on the standard lesson plan, things that have stuck with us long after the memories of how to do long division have faded. I hope those special teachers somehow know what a great impact they had on all of us.
Lovely and touching post. I grew up in a small paper mill town in Louisiana, and know first hand what a few REALLY good teachers can mean to a young person; remarkably, in that small one high school town, I actually had MANY good teachers throughout the years. I was one of only 3 graduates in my class who had the courage and confidence to go to a “big” college (I went to LSU, my best friend went to VA Tech), largely due to the encouragement of some of those teachers. And when we got there, we were just as prepared as any of the other students! Hats off to great teachers everywhere 🙂
This was just a wonderful piece. You ARE a writer!
Awwwwww, thanks Elise. Glad that you liked it.
James, I know exactly how you feel. The year you were on the yearbook staff I was in Mrs. Clark’s Freshman English class. I always had my camera in my hand as well inspired by all the fun she was having with her Sophomore yearbook class. Usually in the mornings I could be found sitting at the long tables in her room talking with my friends and dreaming of being on that same staff the following year. I did join the following year and learned all those little things you mentioned. I had so much fun and like you she gave me a place in the high school hierarchy. I was lucky I had the pleasure of being in her class for 2 and a half years. Freshman English, then yearbook for the next year and a half. My family moved out of state so I moved away but did come back to visit as often as I could.
I like you, have always considered the best teacher I’ve ever has she inspired me. When I started teaching elementary school children I aspired to be a strong inspiring teacher like her. I have often wondered about her and all of those children she inspired along the way. If I am able to make . contact her I have one big message for her. “Thank You”
Hi Dawna, How awesome that she touched your life as well as mine. Very few teachers have the same ability that Ms. Clark had. I know she would be absolutely thrilled to know that she inspired you to be as good a teacher as she was. I’m pretty sure that my high school exerience, and my entire life for that matter, would not have been the same without the small part she played in both. Thanks you so much for the note.
I’m curious, how did you find this story? Have we met?
I think I was thinking about her and googled her name. I almost forgot I had done this. Until I was googling old high school people. I take my trip down memory lane every few years. I started working for a company with the name of someone I would have graduated with if I had stayed at Marcus. I was always disappointed that I did not get to be a part of that first graduating class.
I am sure we met back in high school I would have just been a grade behind you. You basically passed the yearbook torch onto my class. And I did spend a lot of time in her classroom before school. I usually arrived at least an hour early because of my sister who drove us. So I spent a lot of time at the long narrow tables along the side wall.
I was looking at the yearbook covers. I saw the one from 1985 which would have been your year I believe. Then the 1986 and the 1987 ones. The funny thing is the one for 1986 the word Classic was actually my mothers handwriting. I loved my time on yearbook. At my next school you could not be on yearbook unless you had taken both journalism and photography. So I wound up taking a photography class and wound up just moving away from that. Remember before digital when everything was really expensive in photography.
It is nice to connect again. I hope all is awesome in your life.
Hi Dawna! Pretty sure I remember you! Yes, ‘85 was my last year at Marcus. As a sophomore. Then I, and everyone else in my class, moved on to Lewisville. Small world! Ain’t it? I have to credit Ms. Clark with encouraging my love of writing, and of course photography. I even thanked her in my first book. It is nice to connect. And honestly, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
Thank you so much for sharing. She was my absolute favorite teacher. I had her for English — junior and senior year. She really “saw” students and their potential. She was kind, yet made you want to stretch to be better. What a wonderful tribute to her.
Awwwww thanks Allyson, She truly was the first teacher I had that actually took an interest in me and what my talents were. Too bad more teachers aren’t like her. So glad you got to experience her as well…..
Suella Clark’s lessons have stuck with me, her words often ringing in my ears, 13 years after graduation in Korea.
I didn’t have many teachers that made a connection with me the way she did. Every kid should be so lucky.