That’s right,
We just hate it.
For the past 4 years, our entire “Master Bathroom Remodeling Plan” has been to scope out our local Home Depot, tackle Matt Muenster (the bathroom renovation guru on the DIY network), and convince him to come home with us….
……it hasn’t happened yet.
And then, last week…….I ran into him.
Here’s how it went down:
After creepily staring at this guy, and convincing myself that Matt Muenster had better things to do than stand on a Denver street corner at midnight, I gave it a shot anyway and shouted towards his back.
Me: “Matt?”
Matt: (turning to face me now) “Ohhh, Hi.”… It was him.
Me: “What are you doing in Denver?”
Matt: “You know, finishing up a bathroom.” Of course he was.
Me: “I have 2 pretty terrible ones that you can work on back in Dallas.”
Matt: (no response)
At this point I pulled out my phone, tapped the camera icon, and handed it to my coworker Stephen…… not even asking if I could get a picture. (or even asking Stephen if he could take a picture for me) Pretty sure that Matt was used to this behavior, because he instinctively put his arm around me and smiled toward Stephen holding my phone.
FLASH
Me: “My partner is just gunna die when I tell him that I found you.” (don’t I get a prize for finding him? Pretty sure that’s the objective of the show)
Matt: “What was your name?” extending his hand to shake mine.
Me: “James,” grabbing his hand……here was my chance, “I actually have a blog and I’ve been blogging about our home renovation for the past 4 years.” (he seemed like the perfect man to share this information with)
Matt: Retrieving his hand. “Well, I gotta go.” He turned and walked the other way.
Stephen: (Not knowing who Matt Muenster is), “Did you go to school with him or something?”
Looks like the Matt Muenster Bathroom Renovation Plan isn’t going to work after all.
Maybe this year, we take matters into our own tentacles.
Here is the shameful, shameful ugliness that we have been living with for the past 4 years.
I promise y’all, it looks much worse in person….and, it kinda smells like ……. “tinkle”.
How about that popcorn ceiling? The safety railing? The peel-n-stick vinyl floor tiles?
The tiny little sink…off-centered from the tiny little mirror.
The shower head is about 5 feet up, in fact, neither of us really fit in the shower stall anyway .”Oy Vey”
Can’t picture it, but the floor sags from water damage near the shower.
The white-ISH tile wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t have that flakey gold band….
Anyhoo…..We promise that this will be the last year we live with this unused space.
Maybe we’ll do something like this…
Haven’t quite pinpointed the design…but some elements from all 3 of these. (Slate floor, wood, metal, modern-ish sink)
Stay tuned….
It should be quite an interesting year.
With or without Matt Muenster.
THE CAVENDER DIARY 
Oh, my GAWD!
No offense…but I agree, your bathroom is in serious need of some decorator lovin’! lol Instead of taking a picture WITH Matt…you shoulda had pictures of your bathroom on your phone to SHOW Matt. Clearly, you need to brush up on your stalkin’ skills. 🙂
I say…continue stalking Matt and send him a copy of the picture you took with him (heck, make it an 8×10 glossy and autograph it for the fun of it) along with the link to this blog post. Maybe he’ll have pity on you guys……lol……..just sayin’……….
Hugs, Tina
PS…can’t wait to see what you guys do with the bathroom this year.
Tina, Jamie just had the idea to Tweet the post to him…..we’ll see if anything happens…LOL
Oh, perfect! I don’t tweet…so I wouldn’t have thought of that. Can’t wait to see if he responds. Good luck……..
Tinkle? That’s hilarious! But I know exactly what you mean! I think the first idea photo is the best, did you find them on Houz? I can’t wait to see what you guys come up with, I know it will be awesome.
I agree on the first photo love — white subway tile, dark grout, brass + wood. Yum.
yeppers…maybe not the brass…but all the rest of it. Possibly an Ikea sink……love the squareness
Joan, I think people who use profanity aren’t clever enough to come up with other words…..Stay tuned
James, you are right, your bathroom needs help! However, my crappy bathroom could beat the “tinkle” out of your crappy bathroom! Thank God a contractor is making a visit this Tuesday, to get started on a remodel! Love the ideas you posted! (BTW, I refer to our master bath as “the locker room”.
The minute I read “locker room” I knew exactly what it smelled like……Best of luck to you
You should definitely contact HGTV or the DIY Network! Even if they aren’t casting for your area right now, they might make a special trip considering your blog following and your project!
Dawn, you are so sweet!!!! A casting agent for DIY was sending us emails a few months back, but the auditions were always inconvient for us…someday, maybe
Yep, pretty bad. I say contact all the makeover folks because you have a great blog. I just love it. I am not quite sure they would do as fantastic a job as you do though with you great eye. Good luck.
We’d be worried about not being in on the decision process……kinda control freaks in this house
Sorry I didn’t proofread that!
Tragic but the pictures you posted of what you really want we’re exactly what I had pictured you doing!!!!! Good luck! Can’t wait to see what you do in there. The house is amazing!
It must be so strange for celebrities to get into conversations with fans, I don’t know how I’d react either! Those inspiration pictures of yours are lovely though, I have nothing but faith in how it’ll turn out. Good luck!
Definitely install a slate floor. It will look incredibly handsome! Looking forward to seeing your demolition photos! That’s always a fun part for me. Once that’s done, you’ve got a world of possibilities, and a slate floor…that would be awesome!
This post is so great! I just love that you did that (yelling out to him on the street at midnight). And the inspiration photos are gorgeous!
I love that Matt was like ‘where do i know this guy from have we met before did we go to school together who the hell IS this’? (his obvious internal dialog).
I love your bathroom ideas! And I’m totally with you on the control thing. I’d love to have some show fix up or add on to my house, but I’d have to choose and ok everything!!
That is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would happen to us: the fateful this-must-be-a-sign meeting followed by the perfect, not-weird, opening the door on the opportunity that then results in a big fat nothing.
I do still think it’s some kind of sign though. 🙂
Tiffany, I believe in signs too. I had already written the post mentioning him…then running into him made the story even better….def kismet
Two things: I just realized that I know one of the Crashers producers but turns out he only did Room Crashers and Kitchen Crashers, but I could always reach out if need be.
Then, right after I wrote that last comment, I got a call with one of the BIGGEST opportunities of my lifetime. I was like “Holy Crap don’t let this be one of those things that I JUST talked about, that’s SO huge and then goes nowhere.” Fingers crossed. Cross everything, it’s that huge.
We’ve got all our extremities crossed for you too!!!! Hope it all works out for you!!!!
Holy crap!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that first bathroom!!!!
And…. My bathroom makes yours look like a posh hotel…. Harvest gold plastic shower stall. Avocado green with gold flecked vanity top and harvest gold linoleum. Hid-E-Ous!! Best wishes!! Can’t wait to see what you do!
You don’t need any help from Matt! The taste and expertise you have shared the past four years prove you are up for the task. It could be fun to be showcased on DIY, however, you will make it your own and be more proud of it. I love the first inspiration photo but I know your choices will be impeccable. Looking forward to your beginning this exciting project.
Funny story, and yeah, your bathroom needs work. I love your first inspiration picture. I think it would suit the rest of your house. Have peek on Life of Hill Street blog – they are planning a bathroom reno with that same inspiration pic: http://lifeonhillst.com/2014/02/15/boom-goes-the-plan/
All their inspirations look great (guess we are all on Pinterest) We have the same want of an industrial looking shower stall…Thanks for one more blog for us to follow
OH MY GRACIOUS. That’s just…I mean it’s…um, wow. Grandma definitely had a potty party with that room, didn’t she? The horror…the horror…. but can’t wait to see the end result which I KNOW will be ultra-fabulous!
Ya’ll are so precious!!
Take matters into our own tentacles.
The kids & I quote Ursula & say this all of the time! xoxo
I love Ursula! She was modeled on Devine, who died before the movie came out………I know all the words to all the songs!
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