That’s right,

We just hate it.

For the past 4 years, our entire “Master Bathroom Remodeling Plan” has been to scope out our local Home Depot, tackle Matt Muenster (the bathroom renovation guru on the DIY network), and convince him to come home with us….

……it hasn’t happened yet.

And then, last week…….I ran into him.

Here’s how it went down:

After creepily staring at this guy, and convincing myself that Matt Muenster had better things to do than stand on a Denver street corner at midnight, I gave it a shot anyway and shouted towards his back.

Me: “Matt?”

Matt: (turning to face me now) “Ohhh, Hi.”… It was him.

Me: “What are you doing in Denver?”

Matt: “You know, finishing up a bathroom.” Of course he was.

Me: “I have 2 pretty terrible ones that you can work on back in Dallas.”

Matt: (no response)

At this point I pulled out my phone, tapped the camera icon, and handed it to my coworker Stephen…… not even asking if I could get a picture. (or even asking Stephen if he could take a picture for me) Pretty sure that Matt was used to this behavior, because he instinctively put his arm around me and smiled toward Stephen holding my phone.

FLASH

Me: “My partner is just gunna die when I tell him that I found you.” (don’t I get a prize for finding him? Pretty sure that’s the objective of the show)

Matt: “What was your name?” extending his hand to shake mine.

Me: “James,” grabbing his hand……here was my chance, “I actually have a blog and I’ve been blogging about our home renovation for the past 4 years.” (he seemed like the perfect man to share this information with)

Matt: Retrieving his hand. “Well, I gotta go.” He turned and walked the other way.

Stephen: (Not knowing who Matt Muenster is), “Did you go to school with him or something?”

Looks like the Matt Muenster Bathroom Renovation Plan isn’t going to work after all.

Maybe this year, we take matters into our own tentacles.

Here is the shameful, shameful ugliness that we have been living with for the past 4 years.

I promise y’all, it looks much worse in person….and, it kinda smells like ……. “tinkle”.

How about that popcorn ceiling? The safety railing? The peel-n-stick vinyl floor tiles?

The tiny little sink…off-centered from the tiny little mirror.

The shower head is about 5 feet up, in fact, neither of us really fit in the shower stall anyway .”Oy Vey”

Can’t picture it, but the floor sags from water damage near the shower.

The white-ISH tile wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t have that flakey gold band….

Anyhoo…..We promise that this will be the last year we live with this unused space.

Maybe we’ll do something like this…

Haven’t quite pinpointed the design…but some elements from all 3 of these. (Slate floor, wood, metal, modern-ish sink)

Stay tuned….

It should be quite an interesting year.

With or without Matt Muenster.