I used to day-dream about my wedding.
You know, back when I had girlfriends that I could imagine myself marrying. (Not so much consummating the union, but certainly verifying it in front of family and friends.)
My dream wedding was a big 80’s style shin-dig; 8-10 groomsmen and myself garbed in the finest tuxedos that Gengis had to rent that week and my future wife wrapped in a parade float of a Disney princess gown with shoulder poofs like Joan Collins would wear. There would be a 4 tiered punch fountain, a six course sit-down dinner with calligraphed place cards, and display tables overflowing with all the monogrammed sterling we’d been gifted.
But that vision came to a crashing halt when I came to certain terms with myself.
I think y’all know what I mean,
The best I could hope for was some kind of “civil union”.
Didn’t matter anyway, what followed was a string of losers; users and addicts, and guys that really just weren’t that into me and I settled on the fact that I’d better learn to change my own adult diapers because I was probably going to be flying solo.
Until Jamie.
Our first date was nice, comfortable even. (I had Kylie call me an hour into it just incase I needed an “out”. Which I didn’t). On our second date, sitting on Jamie’s futon, both of us singing “Good Morning” with Gene, and Donald, and Debbie …… I just knew;
This was the guy.
It’s the best twelve years of my life later – and he’s still the guy.
He better be. That’s a quarter of my life I’ve spent with him. (Although, I did get rid of that futon as fast as I could)
We moved in together 9 years ago. And even though we’re partners, best friends, and our lives are completely intertwined at this point, we each had a running joke that,
”I don’t see no ring on this finger.”
But that changed 2 years ago. While standing in Battery Park, looking out at the Statue of Liberty, Jamie produced a small turquoise box and officially asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.
Of course I would.
I never thought that I wouldn’t.
And we were finally able to, legally. On June 26, 2015 the United States Supreme Court recognized that we was the same as every other American. That whomever we choose to love was ok.
We considered just going to Dallas City Hall, or having a simple ring exchange at a boutique hotel. I even toyed with the idea of springing an elopement on him while we were in Key West last year. Why not just work a wedding into an existing vacation? – A half hour diversion from eating conch fritters and lying on the beach.
We didn’t think anyone would want to attend anyway.
But they did.
So last weekend, we loaded a party bus with family and close friends, and dragged them about an hour and a half north of Las Vegas into the Valley of Fire for a small ceremony.
We were married exactly 12 years to the day of our first date.
There were no decorations. No groomsmen. No punch bowls. No stuffiness.
And it was just perfect.
Now, we are more than partners, we’re officially husbands,
And it’s Jamie who is legally bound to decide if I stay on life support. (The correct answer is, “no”) But more importantly, he is first in line to inherit all my crap; thousands of glass Christmas ornaments, 15 pair of velvet slippers – 3 sizes to big for him, every Martha Stewart Living Magazine ever printed, and about 300 mint-condition, carded Star Wars action figures.
Yupp, all his.
Pretty sure this means he is also legally bound to change my adult diapers to,
Lucky, lucky, luck luck.
I’m so looking forward to our continuing adventures together ….. officially as husbands.
#LoveWins
THE CAVENDER DIARY 
So Happy for you both! Congratulations!
Very exciting, congratulations! Wishing you many years of happiness and diaper changes!
What a great story! Congrats to you both, I hope you have many more happy years together! Your photos are beautiful what a breathtaking setting!
Makes me so very happy!
OMG. Y’all look so adorable and the photos are amazing. I am so happy for you both. You both deserve a lifetime of happiness together. Congratulations! ❤️
Thanks Shelly!!!!
Congratulations!!!
Congratulations! May y’all be blessed with many, many years of wedded bliss!🎊🎉👨❤️👨
Congratulations!!! I am so happy for the wonderful couple. Wishing you the very best that life has to offer.
Wow! So happy for the both of you! Lovely setting and pictures. Love your matching shoes!
Congratulations, and wishing you both many more years of happiness!
Congratulations!!!
Beautiful wedding pictures!
I wish you all the best for the future!
I am so happy for you both! Congratulations! Love is forever!!!
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Congratulations! The event looks beautiful, perfect!
Sent from my iPad
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Congratulations! What a wonderful wedd8ng!!!
WHA…..!!!! Woweewoweewow
That’s freakin GREAT news 💕 CONGRATULATIONS 🍾🎈🎊 couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple! And what a gorgeous location 👀 *sigh* Best wishes….now and always 🍰
Oh and what are those beautiful shoes/loafers/slippers you are both exquisitely wearing?
Those amaze-ballz slippers are “Magic Carpet” shoes from Artemis Design. They are made from old kilim rugs. That’s the second pair, the first ones I had made from an old rug I found on eBay…….. but they didn’t use any of the navy. (Turks apparently don’t like navy) And we needed navy. So I bought 2 more pair OTR a week before we left.
Love wins! This makes me so stinking happy! Congratulations on a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful life.
Congratulations to you both. You make a stunning couple. Cheers to years of happiness, health and love.
I’m tearing up as I type this! Congratulations!!! You both looked so handsome and happy. Cheers to a long and happy marriage…and no diapers!
About bloody time!!!
Great photos. Very dapper both of you. Even without the shoulder pads.
Many congratulations from Sydney, Australia.
Anna xx
Sent from my iPad
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mazal tov! it’s about time!
So over the moon for you two amazing men!
Congrats 🍾 ! Love your outfits,especially the shoes! Stunning place for pictures!
I don’t know why I didn’t realize y’all weren’t married! I’ve loved following this blog and I hope there’s MUCH more to come. Congratulations on the wedding, I love the suits! 🙂
Congratulations!!!!!
Your photos are gorgeous and you both made beautiful grooms, thank you for sharing!
Ps….what size are the velvet slippers?! Lol
Love, love, love . . . thank you for sharing this. Congratulations! Love the area you chose for your nuptials. So beautiful and so are the two of you!
You had me at your ‘singing in the rain’ mention. Sending you so much love!!
OMG!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! This is AMAZING & BEAUTIFUL!!! I’m so very happy that y’all were able to do this with so many people who love you in attendance!!! You both look incredibly handsome!! Those blue jackets!!! Just GLORIOUS! Did you register somewhere???? You have adoring fans: we need to know!!!
Congrats. It looks so picturesque. After 31 years and three now adult children my partner and I are considering schlepping to our conservative small town courthouse to do the deed. The only advantage to me would be eventual Social Security payments. I’m afraid with current politics this right may be taken away.
I am so happy for you guys. You’re lucky to have found each other.
Lovely! I wish you both great happiness!
So happy you both found each other. I love the pictures and appreciate you sharing your story. What an awesome wedding at the Valley of Fire. That’s an amazing park. Wishing you continued happiness!
Congrats to you both! Beautiful desert, great story, thank you for sharing.
So happy for the two of you!! What a lovely spot for a wedding and the two of you…looking pretty sharp!! Those Martha Stewart magazines can reside alongside my 80’s and 90’s Country Home and County Living magazines! Doesn’t everyone keep magazines for decades?? Now the velvet slippers??😀
Congratulations! I’m so happy for both of you. I loved the pictures and you both looked so handsome (as usual). Thank you for sharing your story and pictures with us! I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Congratulations, you two! Wishing you many years of happiness! xo
Awww, thanks Michelle.
Congrats to a very handsome pair. Wishing you much joy and happiness for years & years to come. And love your sartorial style! Just plain thrilled for you two!
I love all of your stories–but this one might be my favorite! So beautiful–wishing you both all the happiness in the world.
I absolutely love all of your posts…but this one was one of my fav’s! We reside in LV and often visit Valley of Fire, such a beautiful place….your pictures are wonderful and a big congratulations to you both and wishing you a lifetime of happiness!
Thanks Mary Jane. The best part about a ceremony at the Valley of Fire was getting to share the place with everyone.
Love you both so much! How about a honeymoon trip to Seattle to say hi? 🙂
Congrats! You’ve got me crying at work. I am so happy for y’all!
Don’t cry Wendy, it’s a happy ending. You know…. until the dirty diaper part happens….
Howdy Neighbors! Loved reading your beautiful love story, similar to mine & Steve’s 🙂 Glad you both a good one to change your diapers 🙂 Congratulations on your marriage!
Thanks Stacey!!!
Congratulations on your marriage. Love each other and work hard at it. It only gets better.
Awwww, thanks Ann.
Oh, my gosh! Congratulations!
It sounds like the perfect wedding day.
Your pictures can’t deny the love you share…may God bless you with many more years together.
Congratulations on your WEDDING!!! So exciting, and you both look phenomenal! I hope you have many decades of wedded bliss!!!!
Oh my gosh, James, this made me cry! I’m so happy for both of you, truly happy. I live in Canada and I always assumed you were married; but that’s because I’m in Canada and marriage is legal for all (yes and pot is legal here too lol). The photographs of your wedding are so perfect and the background is spectacular and the group of loved ones near is so fitting. Many, Many years of continued happiness, health and laughter ahead. And yes, #lovewins …. always…..
Congrats! How wonderful! Those photos are epic!
Congratulations to you both! A beautiful couple and stunning photos! ❤❤
Congratulations! What a beautiful wedding. I admit I was hoping for a hint of a strong shoulder pad or a flounce somewhere 😉 But those kilim slippers are amazing enough to make up for the lack of 80s style!
Late to the party, but CONGRATULATIONS!
The photos are wonderful and you both look gorgeous!
Congratulations! Love the pictures
Congratulations. You both look so dapper and handsome. Here is to many more wonderful years together. Thank you for making me laugh today with your description of your daydream wedding.
I am so very happy for y’all!! Whoohoo! LOVE WINS!! Ain’t it the best?!
Congrats to you two. Love the beautiful pics and that your family and friends were there. My son had a similar wedding to his partner in Central Park before it was legal in Texas. It was lovely. So happy for y’all!
What marvelous news! Congratulations – I wish you 50 happy years together 🙂
Thanks Amber!!!
HOW did I miss this post last month ?! You both look so freakin amazing. Congratulations ! And I always learn something new in each post: glad to know there’s someone else with (almost ) every copy of MSL….
Thanks so much Chris, (and moving those magazines around the house every few months is going to be the death of me one day.)
By far, the best post on the Cavender Diary! Beautiful pictures to match the story. You proved not all storybook weddings need to have all the pomp and circumstance that some people dream of. The simplicity of everything just highlighted the real meaning behind the day. Congratulations!
Awww, thanks so much Kevin.
I just read your story and I
want to say Congratulations to you both!! And yes, love wins!!
Thanks so much Karen!!!!
Congrats on your big day! I love the pics and your wedding attire. I especially love your shoes or slippers or mules? Please tell where you got them are they Woolrich? I am sure Martha would have baked a cake had she been invited! I never know which one of you is the author. And no…the camera does not make your feet look big so I can’t tell by that one. Have been following you for a long time. I would have joined you on the party bus and brought a cool gift with wrapping to die for. Many years of happiness to you!(
Hi Sandy. I’m the taller of the two. Let’s say the one with (clears throat) more hair. Although Jamie did all the writing when he started this blog….. it’s been entirely me for the past 8-ish years. Honestly, we didn’t plan on matching outfits. I’d lost so much weight (40 pounds actually) that the jacket and jeans I planned on wearing were just to big. We’d both bought that beautiful blue sport-coat, it was a steal, and I knew it would “pop” against the desert. The shoes…..Wow. They are from Artemis Designs. Slippers, I’m an absolute nut for slippers. I bought a beautiful old navy/French blue kilim rug on eBay and Artemis sent it to Turkey to be made into shoes just for us. You know; “Something old, something new, …….., something blue”. It took 6 months, and what they returned to me were two matching pair in mustard yellow/pistachio green. Not a smidge of blue. I laughed-cried back to their website and bought the shoes we wore from their stock. At least they were cheap-ish AND cut from the same rug – Like us. I love them, Jamie will probably never wear his again. Thank you so much for your kind words. We would have loved to have you join us.
Congrats you two! What a beautiful backdrop! And you both look so handsome and happy! All the best!
Awww thanks Carolyn. It was a stunning location. Glad that translates in the pictures.
I’m sooo glad that I ran across your blog today when I was searching Pinterest for plumbing pipe shelves. I found more than a design blog. You two are wonderful, and your house is magical. My husband and I just bought a house, and although it’s totally move-in ready, I’m inspired by your DIYs and design style! Ahhh thank you for sharing your lives with the world!
Hey Brittany! How did I miss your comment? Thank you so much! We’re glad that you found us too!
Thiis is a great blog
And you have great taste! Glad you enjoy it. Thanks for reading.